Happy New Year! Goodbye 2007, hello 2008! Time to stay focused and plan things ahead. Shall never look back. Gotta stand tough on my own ground and fight for what I believe in! Had a blast at Mardi Gras last night, partying like lunatic with a bunch of cool peeps! Not to mention, a fucking idiot that we know got pissed drunk and started molesting a few gals from the table next to us! What the...A minute later, received a text message from Audrey saying, "Hey, guess what? I saw your friend Mr X with another chique at Poppy!"...Who cares? It's not important anymore! Thank god 2007's officially gone...*poof* No more heartache, no more sadness, no more hesitation. New year resolutions : 1. Spend more time at gym, at least 3 times a week! 2. Work smart, not hard. Earn more to shop and get all the fancy gadgets that top the list! 3. More quality time spent with family and close friends! 4. Travel! Travel! Travel more! 5. Do some charity work as I've been such a bitch all along.
Happy New Year!!! Happy 2008 muthafuckas! =p
Alienated?
Drove all the way to Northern Republic Coffee just to have a fucking drink on a Sunday afternoon. Guess what? I'm all alone in this place. In fact, I hate crowded places. So yea, pretty much enjoying the ambience here. Maybe I'm no longer a stranger to this term, 'alienated.' I seriously need my own space! Flying to Bangkok in just 5 days, yet I'm not prepared, not even anticipating the moment at all. Times flies, really. It's been a month, since I last saw him. Although he's just a phone call away, I don't even bother to give him a ring. Why? 'Cause I feel that he's not that important to me anymore. Somehow I can sense that he's very contented with his new life now, ever since he got back with her. Whether she's still clinging to this relationship of theirs because of his wealth or not, it's none of my goddamn business anymore. The truth is I ain't a fucking information counter that's there for him when he needs help or anything and I can't pretend to be one anymore. Honestly, I really hope that one day, he falls onto the ground, real hard...so that he'll eventually realize what a fool he has been. Just make sure that he won't be in front of my house door, crying like a bitch. Watch it all fall, motherfucka!
NYE is just one day to go! Can't wait to party with the gang once again! Let's get drunk! =)
A Blessed X'mas
Five bottles of whiskey, a few buckets of Heineken, a bunch of lovely peeps...and the rest is history. Hope everyone had a blessed X'mas! Again, Adam lied to me! Santa Claus never asked me to sit on his lap and whisper my secret present to him. Why? 'Cause there ain't no Santa. That simple. End.
No Longer...
I no longer think of you and the moments we spent together...
I no longer miss the times you were there for me when I needed you most.
I no longer worry whether you're contented with your life or not.
I no longer give a flying fuck bout you and another her.
I no longer have that kinda special feelings towards you.
The truth of the matter is...I no longer care bout you. You can do whatever you want. Just leave me alone. Don't even ask me what I think about you and her getting back together. At the end of the day, it's all up to you. The decision is in your hands. If you still can't get your head straight, don't come find me. You're nothing but a self-centered bastard. Well, I don't wanna be such a damn fool and tell you what to do 'cause it might end up hurting me too. Don't fucking bother me anymore. I do have a life. Period.
Jerk...
Why do you have to treat me this way?
Why do you let me know bout her stuff each time?
Why do you keep breaking my heart into pieces?
Why can't we have a good conversation each time we talk?
What have I done to deserve all this bulls and craps?
What am I to you? Just a friend who has a tiny little place in your heart?
If I mean nothing to you, just leave me alone and let me move on with my life.
If you really think she's the one for you, go ahead and patch up things with her.
Quit playing games with my heart!
It's NOT Over
Goddammit! Sleepless nights, dealing with insomnia and endless work at the same time. How am I gonna survive? Or am I ever gonna survive this 'battle'? Imagine only 2-3 hours of sleep each fucking day. I hope I don't have to buy a pair of glasses anytime soon. Was up pretty early today with such a fucked up mood! What's new? Got mad at my cousin and threw a tantrum after the meeting again. Guess I seriously need to attend some anger and stress management classes. Period. Each and every single day, a new challenge awaits me. Yet I'm still complaining like a bitch due to lack of sleep and loss of concentration. But hell yeh, thank god it's Friday! TGIF! Finally, weekend is oh so near and need I say more? Say YES to retail therapy! Shop like there's no tomorrow! Gotta settle my car insurance / installment and shit as well as other debts A.S.A.P yet I'm still in the mood to shop. Call me crazy, whatever. I don't fucking care anymore. True that money can't buy happiness but with all the luxury things around, it's hard to resist. Clothes, shoes, handbags, gadgets, for instance. Whatever it is, the 'battle' isn't over. Gotta enter the 'battlefield' again on Monday and fucking continue this game of survival. It's getting even more intense than all Call Of Duty or Soldier of Fortune series combined together! There's no giving up, even knowing there's no way out. This is it, this is the moment of truth!
Here's an example of what money can't buy. It's something known as sincerity. Thank you my dear for such romantic dinner and lovely rose.
Over It
I'm over your lies and
I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me
When you know I'm not okay.
You call me and I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me,
I know you're not alone.
That's why your eyes, I'm over it.
Your smile, I'm over it.
Realized...I'm over it, I'm over it.
Nothing but lies, lies and lies. Therefore, I'm so over it. End-
You'll Never Walk Alone
When you walk through a stormhold
Your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.
He's leaving tomorrow. When he looked into my eyes last night, I wish the moment would last forever. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
Too Forgiving?
Basically he did something that kinda pissed me off just now but I still acted nothing and said, "It's all right." Am I being too nice to him? Am I being too forgiving to him that he seems to take things for granted at times? Just when I thought it was the right time to forget him and leave all the memories behind, he called me and gave me some bull. Same old shit! Well, I don't wanna see him going on like this anymore. Not only that it hurts him, it hurts me deep inside too. When the other her doesn't give two fucks bout him, why should he still bother? He should get his head straight and end all this nonsense before he suffers from hurt and pain again.
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye...
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.
I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I don't know where this road Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. 
Bitching, bitching, bitching
As usual, my bitching session with my so-called chi mui, Su Gin (I'll definitely get it from him this time!) lasted a few hours. At first we had alot to talk about until he started asking me about you-know-who. Damn! Nevertheless, I pretty much enjoyed our conversation. Thanks for being there for me, man! Sometimes I think guys are more understanding than gals. At least they listen and pay attention to what you're trying to say or tell. Unlike those damn bitches who think they're right all the time, not giving you a chance to explain / voice out your opinion. But over-talkative guys are annoying as hell. Needless to say, it's a major turn-off. In conclusion, humans are so damn complicated.
Miserable...
Miserable...That's the best word to define life at this very moment. No idea why. Been feeling down lately. Fucking depressed and down all of a sudden. Esp. after hearing what Audrey told me earlier. I followed her to buy a fucking vase with some roses for her bf's restaurant opening this noon somewhere near Sogo and Pertama Complex and got stuck in a jam for an hour. At last we found what we wanted and left the fucking place. She was like, "thank god we're leaving this 'pet pet' place now! So yea, as usual we'd talk about relationship issues and shit! Which in the end both of us got irritated by the fact that we're both love fools. I was so speechless when his name suddenly popped up! Like WTF?! What does he want from me? Or am I only a friend to him? So confusing! Talking about this so-called Mr X, he called me a couple of times earlier, before I headed to Yu Jia Village with my mum, aunt, cousin, cousin-in-law for dinner. At first we kinda had an interesting conversation, until he mentioned something bout another 'her'. I knew he didn't mean to but heck, it really broke my heart into pieces! Yet I had to act nothing so that he wouldn't know. It's such a fucking miserable life. Why do I have to hide my true feelings each time? Humans are so damn selfish, greedy and demanding. They'll forget you when they meet someone new. That's human nature. Maybe I should just live and learn, then get over this shit eventually.
So Ironic
Just when I was lazing on my bed, listening to some depressing shit (one of our favourite tracks) via iTunes, he called. We talked for like 10 minutes. Basically a stupid yet funny conversation as he kept cracking shitty jokes! Just like those days. How entertaining, indeed. Although it was nothing but a lame phone conversation, I still enjoyed talking to him.